Protecting my family...

Nine months can feel like a long time. We would be the last people to complain, for Jennie has had a pretty healthy pregnancy, and we know every day with Allison is a true gift from God.

If reading our website has ever made you ask, "I wonder what it would be like to be a fly on the wall in the Underwood household, and hear what they really talk about in there?" Let the following story be both a reality check and an answer to your insect-on-our-walls inquiries.

Today I mentioned the 10 Commandments in our young marrieds class at The Chapel. Many of you know that "Thou shalt not kill" is indeed one of God's ten commandments, and is thankfully a part of our legal system today. We are also grateful that such a commandment does not extend to other species of biological life. Take, for example, members of the insect world.

At left, you see a picture of a wasp that invaded our home about a half hour ago. Jennie, in the midst of a conversation with her mom, blurted out, "Honey, there's a huge insect that just got in!" (Click to enlarge)

Naturally, the protector-hunter-defender-of-my-home instinct overcame me. As you can see, the photographer tendency in me was also at its artistic peak. For a few brief moments, this wily invader hid behind the blinds in an attempt to plan his clandestine appraisal of the Underwood kitchen.

Eventually he resurfaced, just long enough to get a pose on the internet, and now you are benefactors of his foolishness. With my "capture the image" appetite satisfied, I went in for the kill. For a brief moment, I thought back to the book of Exodus, chapter 20, and the immortal words of God and Moses, "Thou shalt not kill."

As I looked at the newspaper clenched in my fist, the guilt almost overcame me, before the fact. At just the right moment, the thought occured to me that in Genesis chapter 1-2, God called Adam (and essentially all of humanity) to take charge and rule over all the other species of living things on the earth. Since part of my God-given responsibility as a human being is to exert leadership over other living species - and my responsibility to protect my family... I introduced that black-winged stranger to the Business section of the Akron Beacon Journal.

About now, you could be wondering about the sanity of a guy who posts his wasp-killing exploits on the internet. Quite frankly, I would question if you have ever been stung by a bee or wasp. See, these insect-attackers not only sting you - they ruin picnics, poison sandwiches, drink your soda, and embarrass whoever or whatever is in their path. I not only killed this one, but I now subject him to public humiliation on the World Wide Web. Dude deserves it.

(As I read this, I am wondering, "Now, who all knows about this website? They might think less of me after they read this. I mean, I not only posted an article about killing a wasp, but I tried to make it a moral issue, quoting parts of the Old Testament and such. Are they thinking "this Gary guy really does have some issues" or "I'm not sure Gary's really ready to be a father - he can't even do a webpage worth reading. If he's the kind of person who puts pictures of dead wasps online, I'm not sure I'm going to return to this website or even sign his guestbook." Then again, maybe you're not thinking that. )

Maybe you're quite thrilled for me and Jennie now that our house is pest-free. Like I said, nine months can be a long time. I promise that the next month will include cute articles, updates, and pictures of Jennie and Allison. But I want to remind you that God has called me to protect them against even the smallest of foes. Needless to say, I am ready to protect my family.