So, I finally post again. Thanks to those of you who commented - I really appreciate it. For the last few weeks, I've really, honestly intended to post something, but it's been a crazy month.
I also have had some time to think about my own ways of communicating. I went for a while where I loved to communicate through instant messenger (iChat, of course), emails, message boards, and blogs. I have probably registered and started about eight blogs in the last two years. I keep up with 1.5 of them.
Anyhow, I probably gravitated to these internet-versions of communication for the same reasons most people do:
(1) Quick.
(2) Convenient.
(3) I'm not really interrupting someone else.
(4) Cheaper than a phone call (in time and money).
(5) Cool technology.
(6) A lot of people are doing it.
(7) I get some silly thrill out of having my own web page where people visit my site and read my junk.
(8) Saves my voice in times like tonight where my throat is sore.
(9) I can talk with whoever about whatever without interrupting other people.
(10) We all knew there was no #10 in the first place.
(11) You can send pics, files, and information through these things.
(12) You can communicate with more than one person in one sitting.
Yeah, I guess those are the reasons I gravitated towards these computer-screen communications.
However, over the past 4-6 months, I have found myself gravitating AWAY from email, IM, and blogs.
Why?
Well, let me share thoughts about each one...
(1) E-Mail..... I have seen too many people deal with conflicts or personal issues through an e-mail, instead of going to the person face-to-face. With an e-mail, a person can usually only hear the worst of what you are saying. You may be typing words with good intentions, but they can be received with bad intentions. --- Many people (myself included) have had times where, rather than approach a friend lovingly to work out a disagreement or conflict, we HIDE behind a computer screen and type out our rationale. --- Ultimately, this often creates MORE PROBLEMS than solutions. -- If over 80% of communication is NON-VERBAL, then why are we restricting ourselves to the 20% revealed in an e-mail. -- Also, how many people have accidentally sent an e-mail to the wrong person? --- Or typed an e-mail to a bunch of people, sharing their email addresses with everyone when that's really not your privilege to give out? --- Or... (and this is the worst) clicking "Reply All" and sending your deep thoughts or personal disagreements to EVERYONE on accident, when they were just meant for one person.
RESOLVED: In short, I have really cut down my use of e-mail. I no longer feel excited to hear the "ding" sound my computer makes when I've got mail. For the most part - if I really want to communicate, I have to weigh the consequences. Do I really want convenience over clarity? Do I prefer speed over love? Do I prefer reading sterile words to hearing my friend's voice? Let's consider the situation, the person, and the priority of REALLY COMMUNICATING before we send out our serious thoughts in can only be termed "junk mail."
(2) Instant Messenger.... A lot of the same things apply here. I can't see the person's face. I can't tell if they are telling the truth, giving sarcasm, being defensive, or merely stating a thought. I am guilty, guilty, guilty, of having sensitive conversations through instant messenger before. I'm glad to say I haven't had one in at least two months - and it feels great! So often, a "friendly disagreement" moves to a debate which moves to people saying things they don't mean, or things that are easily mis-interpreted. --- With IM, if you're logged on, people assume that they can beep you and talk with you right there, and if you don't respond, that you're rudely ignoring them. Seriously, if you leave your computer, or are busy working with other windows open, people still get the idea that you are right there in the room with them - ignoring them! --- Many of the problems with instant messenger are the same as that of email. One difference is that you are typing at the same time as the other person. This situation means that you really don't have to listen to each other. If you are having a disagreement, whoever types first gets the upper hand. It's not really a place for serious dialogue or sharing, unless each person understands that it may take time for the other to respond. Does anyone else see what I mean?
RESOLVED... Well, I've resolved not to use instant messaging much anymore. When i do, I will only have that application open when I might want to be available. YES, I know that some programs (iChat) let you tell people that you am "busy" under your name. However, I really don't feel like adjusting my status every time I have a phone call or meeting or are trying to focus on work. I'd rather just shut the program down. With an Apple, I can shut and open programs in a snap.
(3) Blogs... Again, blogs can be impersonal, unclear, and open for anyone's critique. Some of you LOVE that about blogs. For some, a blog is a place of debate. But the debate or disagreement happens without that 80% of nonverbals (tone, attitude, explanation, body language, smile, volume, you name it!). --- Some people like to use blogs to tell everyone about everything in their lives. Like how I'm eating another Halls "Defense" Cough droup tonight and I love those things. I guess that's fine if people do that. --- Some people use blogs as places to defend all of their preferences, beliefs, actions, or hobbies. That's cool too. --- Some people like to use blogs as journals for their family, life, and spiritual updates. That's cool too. Makes you feel like you're writing a book or journaling or something.
I get that. Blogs are good.
Comments from friends are fun. Comments from friendly strangers are fun, but can be weird since I don't know the people.
BUT.... A blog is also on-going interaction with people (comments and responses) that can easily be mis-read, mis-understood, mis-interpreted. --- A blog is something that, unless you update it regularly, people don't read it. I used to like that kind of accountability. However, I'm not the only one who - I think - has realized that blogging several times a week has lost it's excitement. --- Finally, any of you who have read my blog (here) in the last few months realize I've wrestled with my purpose, desire, or responses to this blog. Oh - and the fact that when you have two kids, a wife, friends, family, and a church and community to love, spilling out thoughts into web-land isn't high on the priority list anymore. (Read: not getting hyper here, just saying how it is.)
RESOLVED: I still like to blog (can you tell? This one is long, dude). But the thrill or novelty isn't what it used to be, and I've seen how on my blog (and other people's blogs), the posts and comments can divide people or frustrate people when that was never the intention. I don't want to "HIDE" behind the typed word.
Granted, writing this blog was fun and stirring in my mind for a few weeks now. I also don't think this is the kind of topic that I really needed to talk with all of you "live, in person" about. Regardless, I would indeed like any feedback on this post that you might have.
Maybe you are also sour on blogs, and don't want to post =).
Maybe you are still in love with your email, and want to convince me otherwise. I'm open.
Maybe you came here hoping for pics of Luke. I've got a bunch here, but they're still on the digital. Don't worry, I haven't given up on posting pictures, either!
Lots to be thankful for at the Underwood household.
